Blonde jokes

[sniper#420[1up]]

Two blondes living in Oklahoma  were sitting on a bench talking, and one  blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away...Florida or the moon?" 

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?" 

T-SHIRT 

A blonde goes over to her friend's house wearing a T.G.I..F. Tee-shirt.

'Why are you wearing a 'Thank God It's Friday' tee-shirt on Monday?'

'Oh crap!' the blonde says. 'I didn't realize it was a religious t-shirt. I thought it meant 'Tits Go In Front.''

   

CAR TROUBLE 

 A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. 

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. 

She says, "What's the story?" 

He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" 

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?" 

   

SPEEDING TICKET 

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!" 

 

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" 

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You  ARE on the other side." 

   

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. 

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." 

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;  likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. 

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you? 

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde." 

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken." 

   

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! 

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" 

    "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!" 

   

BLONDE ON THE SUN 

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" 

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"   

The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" 

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.  "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

 To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!" 

   

IN A VACUUM 

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" 

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?" 

   

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! 

 A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.   Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" 

"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond.  "They're watch dogs!"
 

[Zangetsu]

Oh god dude, almost died laughing.

Here's mine;
A blond a brunette and a redhead walk into a casino. They all have $50 and say when we're outta money we'lll meet back here at this bench. They all go off and about 30 mins later the redhead is back at the bench. After waiting 15 mins she see's the brunette walk up. "Lost all mine at the slots" says the redhead. "Lost mine at Blackjack" responds the brunette. Well they wait around for an hour and then they finally see the blond walking up to them with a giant tub of coins. "I founnd a machine that you CAN'T lose at" says the blond, "follow me!" They all walk to the back of the casino and she leads them to the change machine. She says you put a dollar in and you win 4 quarters!

Also, 2 blonds walk into a building. A brunette walks around it.

[Infinite]

Not bad, not bad at all lol

[Zoro]

Blonde Cop
 
This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification.

The blonde driver looks all around in her purse and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.”

“Well, do you have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop.

The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.”

“Let me see it,” says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it. Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you.”